TOXIC FEMINISM + THE PRINCESS SYNDROME

“There’s no good men.” “Chivalry is dead.” Blah blah blah. In the age of 4th wave feminism, we still see a lot of women unhappy in their relationships or unhappy that they are not in a relationship. So what went wrong? The answer is we took feminism too far. We took feminism to mean that women are better than men. That men are to serve women. That our existence itself is enough compensation for the service of men. We were raised to develop the princess syndrome. 

We expect men to be attracted to us without us putting in any effort. “I want him to like me for me, not for how I look like.” Well, sis, the reality is that our looks preface our personalities. If you look like you don’t give a shit about your looks, then it signals to them that you probably don’t give a shit about other important things either. Being at a healthy weight and having a kempt appearance is the bare minimum. Contrary to the feel-good messages you’ve been inundated with during your formative years, physical attraction matters. 

We then shame men who are not attracted to us by calling them shallow. In an attempt to make ourselves feel better in the short term, we engage in what I like to call “sour graping.” There’s a fable about a fox who so wanted the grapes on a trellis which were too high up for it to reach. After giving up, the fox says, “Well, they were sour anyway.” When people don’t get what they so badly wanted, they turn around and claim that whatever it was wasn’t good anyway. Doing so does not help us at all. It keeps us in denial of the truth. The truth that physical looks matter to men (and women), and if you want to find a mate and keep them interested, it has to matter to you also. 

We don’t do our part or care to learn how to do our part. No matter where we are on the traditional-to-modern spectrum, whether we work or stay at home, whether we go 50/50 or 70/30 or 100/0, we need to do our part. We need to identify what exactly it is our partners desire for us to provide in the relationship. Does he work all day and provide for you? Then it’s your responsibility (mainly) to keep up the house whether you do it yourself or hire someone. Men are with us because we are their complement. We do things they are not able to or don’t have any interest in doing, but are nonetheless important. Whatever your setup is, DO YOUR PART. 

We belittle and emasculate men. The amount of women I meet who shit talk their men so openly baffles me. Bonus points if their partner is sitting right next to them while they are doing this. How can we expect our partners to enjoy our company if we put them down in front of others? When we put them down, period? It’s not a good feeling for anyone, let alone have it come from someone who is supposed to be their main supporter? If you find yourself doing this, it’s time to assess your relationship and the true cause of your unhappiness surrounding it. 

We have deep-seated distrust of men. It is time to undo all the conditioning we have been subjected to: the “dumb dad” TV trope, our single mothers telling us all men are not to be trusted, and the obviously misandrist “feminist” rhetoric that men exist to put women down. It is true that all men are not to be trusted. But it is also true that trust is the foundation of all healthy relationships. So how can that be? We allow men to slowly earn our trust and keep that trust unless they show us they are not worthy of it. No asking him where he’s been for the past couple hours, no checking his phone, no policing his friendships. In the end, if he chooses to break your trust, you take it away and move on and give it to someone else. You must TRUST YOURSELF enough to be okay. It also assures you that he is with you of his own accord and not because you have been keeping him on a cord. 

Trusting your man assures you that he is with you of his own accord and not because you have been keeping him on a cord.

Manifestelle

The core idea of the princess syndrome as a byproduct of toxic feminism is that we expect a lot from men but expect very little of ourselves. We expect to be waited on simply for being female. You receive what you give, so if you are not giving much, you can’t expect to receive. 

XOXO

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